Have you ever caught yourself talking about your kids with others. You banter back and forth about how great they are, what a good age they are now, and how fast they grow up. Break...you finish the conversation and arrive back home with your wonderous kids. Then one starts throwing cat food and the other throws the cat on you head and it latches on with its fearful claws. If you are the parent on TV, you have a clever way to deal with this episode that is calm, collected and the the kids appreciate the greater good of their troubled ways. Or you start threatening to take things away like TV, trips or treats. Of course then you curse yourself as you have just gambled away the few things that you still hold power over them, but you must commit. And then you recall that conversation you had moments earlier about how your kids are so wonderful. Weird stuff.
Anyways, tonight I did not win any parenting awards. After the tenth time lovingly suggesting the kids need to go to bed, I turn around and the homework is not done and they are coloring. Oblivious to what I had asked of them a gazillion times. The countdown began. 5....4...3...2....1. I hit it. The 1. That means I must do as I promised and throw the pens away. No 1 and 1/2 tonight...straight to 1.
Madness ensues. Ashton cries, Maya wimpers and then I must decide. Commit and be strong, or try to find a more PC way to absolve my behavior. In the end, as I pour effort into figuring out this unsolvable riddle, I hope that what has more bearing on their lives is the singing and dancing to Ghostbusters, and the limpy wars in the bathroom. Actually made them cry again on this one too...damn!
I think if I had a manual to be the perfect parent in front of me at every moment, I would still screw it up most of the time. Good luck to me tomorrow.
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